Family Planning (no, not birth control ~ a Christmas photo)

Some routes just never get you where you are trying to go.

Every Christmas we get a card from Bob and Diane Reilly in Arizona. And every year they include a photo of their entire family gathered together. I've never really counted how many, but it looks easily like a hundred people to me. Well, maybe not quite that many, but that really isn't the point.

I have often marveled at how they manage to get their entire family together for a photo op. And not only are they all together, but they are all dressed nicely and are smiling! Those working to resolve the Middle East crisis should sit down with Bob and Diane and see how they accomplish this yearly miracle.

Now maybe they don't see it that way, but I have tried for years to get twelve people together in one place for a picture. After many attempts I am convinced that is always going to remain a dream of mine. I've even added it to my bucket list.

I am convinced that the same forces that control the ocean tides are somehow linked to family photos. Over the years there have been just too many strange occurrences to believe it all happens by chance.

If we plan ahead, something always happens that prevents someone from getting there. If we try to be spontaneous, there is always a disaster that requires a trip to the ER or at the very least results in lots of tears and swollen faces.

If we actually do manage to get everyone to stand together and smile, we get grandkids with crossed eyes or facial expressions that would seem to indicate acute intestinal distress. If we retake the photo, the same phenomenon shifts to another child that had looked great in the previous picture.

A couple years ago we resorted to Photoshopping the grandkids into a family photo after they got out of the hot tub. People must have wondered why they were the only ones with wet hair. At least no one looked like they were in pain or needed eye surgery.

Watching Will and Kate take such stately photos with baby George, I wonder if that sweet little boy will ever cross his eyes or contort his cute little face. Maybe being royalty helps. Then again, I have never seen a photo of lots of royal family members all gathered around a couch after dinner. But, if they ever did, I bet none of them would have wet hair.

route of frustration