They say you get wiser as you get older and I am sure that is true. I am also sure that is why most people marry when they are young. The unchecked optimism of youth and the blindness of love combine to get us to the altar. It is only after our vows are taken and we begin brushing our teeth side-by-side that we truly experience the challenges of married life.
Michael and I are both first-borns which makes for a very exciting relationship. Both of us know exactly how everything should be done and we like to have people listen to us and do it our way. Around the house we're like two generals marching off to war with no one following behind.
In addition, we have totally opposite personalities. Michael is big picture, I am microscopic detail. Michael is sanguine, I am melancholy. Michael is a procrastinator, I am a list checker-offer. So throughout our marriage we have approached every new endeavor from two totally opposite points of view.
The first years of our marriage were a battle ground that eventually turned into a separation headed for divorce. Seeing how bad we were at marriage, the Lord intervened and got us back together. Since He did all the work, we figured He got to choose what he wanted us to do. When He decided we should be in marriage ministry, though, we thought He got our record mixed up with someone elses.
Initially we seemed ill-fitted for the job, but through the years we have discovered that seeing everything from two different angles and being totally unwilling to give in has served us very well in marriage ministry. Based on our history, there isn't much couples can share with us that we hadn't either done or thought about so nothing shocks us. And since we were such a mess and totally incapable of fixing anything ourselves, we know how to stand in faith and trust the Lord completely.
(Mr. Big Picture just came in and told me that while I was writing this he totally re-planned the family get-together we had scheduled tonight. Mrs. Detail asked a couple questions and it became apparent that there were any number of important things that he hadn't thought about. He is now back on the phone re-planning the re-plan. Ah, consistency is so comforting!)
Anyway, as I was about to say, through the years we managed to raise three great kids who turned out super in spite of us. They now are married and we have four beautiful grandkids. (Our youngest son and his wife haven't yet heard the Lord speaking to them about their contribution to generational reproduction, but we are confident they will soon.)
Last year we moved my folks into our home and began learning more about elder care than we had ever hoped for. So instead of retiring and moving to Fiji, here we are helping one generation to finish their journey, another generation to maximize theirs, and a third generation to begin theirs.
This is family. It's what life is all about. We are each born into one and, if we're blessed, we finish life surrounded by one. What happens in between is what routes are all about.
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| marriage ~ a narrow route for two |
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